I am fortunate in that I have a job now where I do not need to be available immediately to anyone in order to optimize my business or properly serve my clients. It wasn’t always this way. When I was young, in the 1970’s, I operated a small “retail” business, and answering the phone was a requirement. I was productive until about 8:30 am, and then, the day was shot, putting out one fire after another. One of my first community mental health jobs was being a crisis intervention counselor in the early 1990’s, with a beeper and a cellphone on my belt that could go off at any moment with a psychiatric crisis, usually related to suicide. I did that three years and that cured me of ever wanting to carry a device that could call my attention at any minute.

So, my smartphone is on “do not disturb” all the time. I have it set so that only calls from my family can get through. I don’t text. I don’t want to be notified when emails arrive. My work involves one-hour psychotherapy sessions, so I got in the habit of not answering the phone under any circumstances when I’m in session. I discovered that if a call was important, they’d leave a message, and only about 1 in 10 does. In the old days, when I answered callers, I would have spent all my time talking to people that were calling with something unimportant. I never answer the phone now at all. Fortunately, I am busy enough that there is no need to for business purposes. When it’s convenient, I listen to messages and plan the appropriate response.

When I have breaks, I use my laptop to conduct email correspondence and engage in Facebook, which I use for several purposes related to my work and my social activism. Then I close it up when there is something better to do, and there usually is.

When I read Carlos Castenada years ago, he made a big impression on me with the idea of making one’s self unavailable. There is peace there. I believe my earlier life and this teaching led me to arrange my life so there was nothing demanding my attention when I didn’t want to be disturbed. Now, other people don’t dictate what I pay attention to. I do.

I have clients who have boxed themselves into roles that do not allow them to be unavailable, as I had done with those examples in my earlier life, before I arranged things as they are now. Making yourself available all the time, needing to answer every call, text and notification is a killer. I have eliminated the need to answer any demand that is not vitally important. There are very few that are.