Find Your Ideal Body Weight
It’s not what you think
Do you remember that chart on the wall in the doctor’s office? Well, it was wrong! It supposedly showed you the “Ideal Body Weight” (IBW) for people of your height. The doctors, nurses, my teachers and my parents told me the IBW was the weight I “should” be. Unfortunately, I believed them, and it caused big problems.
When I was in the 7th grade, I weighed 225 pounds at 5'6". I knew it was too much, of course. No one had to tell me. I would have loved to lose weight. I would have loved to weigh 175, and I was more than willing to work hard for it.
But that chart said I should be between 137 and 147 pounds. When I was told that’s what I had to be, it took the wind out of my sails. I couldn’t even imagine it.
The experts and my parents told me what to weigh and what to eat. They put me on diets of fruit, soft-boiled eggs, cottage cheese and skim milk, things I couldn’t stand, even for a day. They shamed me for liking cake, ice cream, cookies and potato chips, while they ate them freely. I could only have them on certain occasions and only if I had been “good”. They made me feel bad about being 225 and bad about wanting to lose “only” 50 pounds. It was awful and it turned me into a hater of diets and an addicted overeater. As long as I believed them, it hurt me. I only started getting better when I started thinking, “Screw the experts!”
Screw Them!
Who has the right to tell you what you “should” weigh? No one! Your “Ideal” weight is the weight you want to be, and it’s nobody’s business but yours. It’s certainly not the business of an insurance company.
“Ideal Body Weight” was not invented by health experts!
In 1959 and 1983, The Metropolitan Life Insurance Company released tables of the “ideal” weights for each height, for longevity. Those were the charts you saw at the doctor’s office. The information was based on data collected by the Society of Actuaries from 25 life insurance companies, representing 4.2 million people. The “Ideal Body Weight” on those charts was the average weight of people who bought life insurance who lived the longest. They did not study the health and longevity of people at different weights. They reported statistical probabilities, not the effect of weight on health.
The fact is that plenty of people over those “ideals” were as healthy and even healthier than people in the ideal ranges. In fact, Harvard-based medical experts reveal that not only are some overweight people quite healthy, but even some obese people can be healthy. (Please don’t get the idea that I am an advocate for staying obese or very overweight. Solving my obesity problem and maintaining my weight not only saved my life, but it changed my life from misery to joy. It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I highly recommend it.)
If the weight you want to be gives you good overall health, a healthy heart, healthy blood pressure, physical comfort, ease of mobility, good labs, and you are happy with that as a goal weight, there’s nothing wrong with it. If your doctor says it needs to be lower, ask, “Why? What benefit would it produce?” If he or she has a good reason, then maybe you should think of a lower weight for yourself, but if not, be happy with what you want, not what someone else says you should be.
Good lord. Look at those ideals for a woman 5'4", 114 to 135 pounds. (No, you are probably not “big boned”. Only 1 in 7 are.) How do you think it feels for someone who is 200, dying to reach 160, to hear they need to be 135 or less?
Choose you own ideal weight, and if it’s healthy and makes you happy, shoot for that!
The BMI is worse!
A while ago the American medical culture shifted to a new standard to judge a person’s weight, the Body Mass Index (BMI). This was supposed to be a better way to tell what weight you should be. As the Harvard article pointed out, it’s not perfect. That’s a huge understatement. It’s terrible! Worse than the IBW.
At my heaviest, I was 330. Not only was I obese (I hate that word) but I was “morbidly” obese. How depressing. Much worse, the weight I dreamed of if I discovered how to succeed, 225, was still called obese! Even worse than that, my insurance company chart’s “Ideal Body Weight” of 180 pounds (I, of course, am big-boned) was called overweight with this new system! Crazy! I said something worse than “screw that!”
Do we need a chart or a scale to tell us we are overweight?
No, of course not. And we certainly don’t need one that’s crazy. Most of us know if we have gotten overweight. And we don’t need a chart to tell us what weight to be. Pick a goal weight that’s reasonable, that you’d be happy with, and shoot for that. Reach that and then you can revisit the subject.
Don’t let others discourage you.
In an earlier time, when I was still listening to the “experts” who thought being a bit overweight was a big problem, I was often hurt by their interference and criticism. Once, after a painful medical episode due to my weight, I “made up my mind” for the millionth time to lose weight. I vowed to the doctor that this time I really meant it! (I had always meant it, but I hadn’t yet learned how to succeed. No one else really knew either, including this doctor who thought he knew everything.)
I was 330, and I knew that 250 would be a lot healthier than 330. So that was my goal. So I told this doctor “250” as confidently as I could. “No!” he barked. “You’ve got to make it 175!” What a jerk. My heart sank, and that was the end of my resolve. I vowed never to go to that guy again.
Years later, after many more failed attempts to diet and exercise, I eventually discovered the behavioral method I now teach. When I set out on that path, my goal was 250. I had no intention or desire to make it any lower than that. But I was finally successful and I discovered that just by continuing what I was doing, which I enjoyed more than my old habits, I could lose more.
I also learned that maintaining my weight would require keeping these new habits forever, whether it was maintaining 225, 200 or 180. And I learned that maintaining 200 or 180 was no more difficult than maintaining 225! They would each require the exact same work, no different.
I was bolstered by my success and I knew I could lose more, so I asked myself, “If it’s going to be the same work for the rest of my life no matter which weight I work to maintain, which would I rather be, 225 or 180?” The answer came easily.
After 18 months in the loss mode, I lost 140 pounds, and I’ve been living the maintenance mode at 180 since, 35 years and counting. I love it.
Who cares what the Ideal Body Weight is or what the BMI says is normal? Forget them.
You started reading this to find our more about this “Ideal Weight” idea. But you don’t need to live with someone else’s concept of the ideal. Decide on your own what would make you happy. That’s the one that’s possible. The weight you choose can be done. I know. Forget what others say. Think about what weight you want to be and shoot for that.
William Anderson is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, the author of “The Anderson Method of Permanent Weight Loss” (paperback and Kindle at Amazon, audiobook at Audible). He was obese until his early thirties when he found the solution. He lost 140 pounds, has kept it off for 35 years, and has taught thousands to successfully manage their weight.
